[ he’s been reading a book. Which is to say he’s been picking up and putting down a book during this entire conversation without actually absorbing a word ]
[Felwinter doesn't take long. Soon enough there's a knock at the door, and he lets himself in, as has become the norm for them. He removes his helmet and leaves it on the counter, as usual. He'll even take a moment to pull his boots off before heading over to sit down in whatever space Gojo has made for him on the bed.]
The hypocrisy of you being fine with you not sleeping or eating but not fine with me not sleeping or eating.
[ The answer comes out quick and honest, no reason to bother with niceties. He tosses his book aside and snuggles into Fel's arms, having figured out by now the best way to sit tucked against Fel's side with relative comfort despite Fel's not-very-soft body. ]
We literally just went over this, have you decided to just forget what I said? I'm hurt. Do the words that come out of my mouth--okay it was texting so I guess hands?--mean nothing to you?
Humans have to breathe, too, but that wasn't something you were worried about when you were fucking my throat.
So you are fine with me healing the brain damage from oxygen deprivation? But you're not fine with me healing the brain damage from sleep deprivation. Is it just because one of these things involves your dick?
You're just digging yourself deeper and deeper in this hypocrisy hole. Have you considered, instead, admitting that I'm right and you've been kind of a jerk today?
I could have stopped you, just like you said. I chose not to. It's been a long time since I've thought twice about healing my own damage, and I'm used to running on sleep deprivation as my normal state of being.
If you're going to make an effort to minimize the amount that I do things like that, because you care about me, then you have to accept the same in return. For the reasons previously discussed.
[ He lifts a warning finger. ] Don't you dare argue. I don't want to keep rehashing the earlier argument, because it was miserable, Fel. And I'm frustrated and exhausted just thinking about having to do that on a regular basis. Especially since here you are trying to go straight back into it.
So do me a favor and admit that I'm right, and-or apologize to me. About some or all of it.
[Felwinter does, in fact, open his mouth to argue, but then thinks better of it. Instead he just wraps his arms around Gojo and drags him down to lie on the bed, pressing his face into the nape of his neck.
When he (eventually) speaks again, it's quiet and slightly muffled, a soft vibration against pale skin.]
Forgive me. I called us equals and then refused to think of you as such. It was... [hypocritical] ...inconsiderate of me.
[ Gojo lets himself be tugged down, content to wait while Felwinter processes through his request. He knows he's given Felwinter a lot to think about and made some big asks of him today, so he's willing to be patient as he works through it.
Eyes closing with gratitude and contentment when he gets that apology, Gojo nods, curling his hand over Fel's and lightly winding their fingers together. ] We can work on investigating the mountains. But let's discuss that ... maybe tomorrow. For now, let's spend the next day or two looking for a house that the three of us all like.
I've never lived in a house. [It seems like a silly thing to admit, now that he says it.]
I sheltered in the ruins of houses on occasion, if they were defensible enough. But never more than a night. I lived in the remnants of a Golden Age observatory on my mountain. When I ceded it to the Iron Lords, they built a great temple into the peak.
[But never a house. He's not even sure what a house is supposed to be like.]
[It's a little terse, but mostly good-natured. He knows Gojo is just Like That, and would be whether he was an Exo or a human or whatever Choso is exactly.]
I would suggest looking for a place which is easily defended, but I'm not sure those exist in a city like this.
As long as I get a king sized bed, I don't really care about the rest of it. I can have books anywhere.
We actually have money for this, by the way. I got a weird windfall. A little bit creepy, actually. Did I show you the weird money that just showed up in my room?
I assumed we were using what we were given from the expeditions.
[Which is presumably nowhere near enough for a house, but the thing is? Felwinter has never had to use money before in his life. Having to pay for the place you want to live in? Pretty wild, actually.]
Just showed up. Scattered around. Which I just figured was a prank or something. But when I investigated, apparently it appraises for an obscene amount of money. Like ... the living expenses of a family for a year. Someone--or something--just gave me that.
It doesn't make any sense.
But yeah, I'd been planning on using what we were given from the expeditions, and figured the three of us would probably manage to afford something decent by combining that. But now ... we can afford something nice, and still have plenty for necessities and luxuries beyond that.
[ The luxuries available are limited, however, and especially limited for Augmented. Therefore, the obvious solution is that they need to expand the availability of luxury items and the social situation of the Augmented. Somehow. ]
And, honestly, still even more money beyond that since we still have the three salaries. So, serious question, what kind of goals might we want to achieve with that?
A tribute. [As made to a Warlord by his people. It's... not the most comfortable thought.
Gojo's question is a good one, and also one he doesn't have the slightest idea on how to answer. There are several goals he'd like to achieve, but he doesn't know that money will or even can help with them. He's quiet for a little while, his thumb drawing idle circles on Gojo's hand.]
[ Gojo echoes the word with a thoughtful sound, then shakes his head. Even his god complex doesn’t find anything there to latch onto. Praise and attention is all the tribute he wants. (Though it’s true that he considers it the natural order of the universe that he be financially comfortable.) ]
From who or what?
[ Even though he’d been asking for Fel’s thoughts and priorities, he’s willing to give his own first. ]
I want better treatment for the Augmented and better conditions overall. Seems like what people need most is food—then other material goods and resources after that. But even though money gives us better access to those things, it can’t create more food and resources. I don’t have any particularly good ideas about how to improve that situation as a whole, or how to apply the money toward those interests.
My people gave me crates of ammunition and scavenged weapon parts in exchange for my protection.
[He doesn't sound particularly proud of this. He hadn't wanted to be a Warlord, and had said as much when Aarthi had come to deliver him tribute. But he was also pragmatic, and not about to turn away something that useful when it was offered. He'd refused to take their food, at least, if only because it wasn't something he needed.]
Perhaps this is payment for something else you've done. You'd have a better idea of what that might be than I do.
[Gojo's priorities are good enough, and Felwinter is quietly relieved to hear that he also doesn't know how they might apply money to such things. So he feels less self-conscious, perhaps, when he offers his own thoughts.]
When I first came here, I thought the city a vision of our dreams brought to life. We're building a city for our people, did I ever tell you that? But the more I see of it, the more doubts I have. Attitude towards the Augmented may be mixed but we are still better provided for than some of Karteria's own citizens. Though I don't think we have enough money for all of them.
[As if simply throwing money at them would fix the underlying societal problems. Problems that Felwinter is unfortunately somewhat oblivious to.]
There are others better suited towards improving the standing of Augmented. That's not something I can do.
[ This information about Fel's role as a Warlord in his society makes Gojo blink in surprise. He'd sort of assumed that it was more of a combat style or ability, like how he and his peers are jujutsu sorcerers. But now it seems like he actually had power and leadership over people, and they brought him weaponry in order to help maintain that leadership and protection. That's not something Gojo likes the sound of, but he doesn't have enough context to be able to judge. Fel makes some terrible decisions, but he also means well. Hard to tell which one this was. Maybe both. (Probably both.) ]
You can improve the standing of the Augmented. You already are. We're earning appreciation and respect for our work exploring. We've brought back information that Patho-Gen has found valuable, and we've made progress in re-establishing the connection to Kelesis.
But payment from whom? The authorities? They should be providing better housing for the augmented, since they brought us here, so why throw this payment at just me? Why not increase the budget for the augmented as a whole? Common folk giving 'tribute' or some smaller organization? They wouldn't have this kind of budget. Some kind of mysterious wealthy benefactor? How would they get into my room, for one thing, and I haven't done anything exceptional enough for anyone in order to warrant this kind of money.
It ...
[ Gojo's not the type to believe in gods. Though it is true that he met an entity here he would consider a god, and that god was able to create things from thin air. But this doesn't at all seem like Emet-Selch's style.
(Worth asking him, though, to be sure. Gojo will just fire off a quick text, explaining to Fel as he does so.) ]
I have met one entity who can create things, so it's possible it was him, but it doesn't seem like him and this is well out of proportion with the ... I made him a flower crown and he created cakes for me. I haven't done anything for him that would merit this.
But it makes me wonder if there's something else.
Was there ... when you first woke up--no, before you first woke up, did you hear a voice that didn't seem like it actually belonged to the scientists who were there when you did wake up?
[Felwinter doesn't argue when Gojo insists that he's already helping. He's learned that arguing with Gojo generally gets him nowhere but in trouble. And besides, perhaps Gojo is right... as long as his efforts are focused outside of the city, and the people remain unaware of what he is, he's doing something.
So what he really meant, then, is that there others better suited to roles directly involved with the citizenry.
But the focus has shifted entirely to the mystery money. He listens, and has no real argument against any of it. He is briefly distracted by the mention of someone who can, apparently, create food out of thing air — what an incredibly useful ability — but then Gojo asks him a question which catches him off-guard.
He's silent, at first, trying to think back to that time. He'd woken in a blind panic with the sound of battle ringing in his ears, disorientated and disarmed. He had almost assaulted the scientist who was watching over him (almost, but not quite). Before then? It's hard to remember. It's harder to think about.]
Possibly. [He rubs his face against Gojo's shoulder. To comfort himself, perhaps? He doesn't know.] Everything was... jumbled up. With before. But I think I remember, now that you mention it. As though something or someone was in my head.
[A pause, as he considers why Gojo is asking about that now.]
You think whoever or whatever that was may be responsible?
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[And he doesn't know Choso well enough to assume he'll appreciate being summoned out of nowhere for cuddles.]
Your room?
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[ he’s been reading a book. Which is to say he’s been picking up and putting down a book during this entire conversation without actually absorbing a word ]
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You never did tell me what number eight is.
[Felwinter, please.]
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[ The answer comes out quick and honest, no reason to bother with niceties. He tosses his book aside and snuggles into Fel's arms, having figured out by now the best way to sit tucked against Fel's side with relative comfort despite Fel's not-very-soft body. ]
Predicated on several assumptions.
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You're human. Your body requires food and sleep to function. Mine does not.
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Humans have to breathe, too, but that wasn't something you were worried about when you were fucking my throat.
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If you'd looked like you were struggling I would have stopped. Or if you'd tapped out, or given me some other sign.
[Never mind the accidental almost-drowning. He lost his head a little.]
Healing from starvation isn't the same as not starving to begin with.
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You're just digging yourself deeper and deeper in this hypocrisy hole. Have you considered, instead, admitting that I'm right and you've been kind of a jerk today?
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I wasn't aware that I was damaging you. If I'd known I would have stopped.
[He is apparently completely sincere about that.]
I'll be more careful next time.
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If you're going to make an effort to minimize the amount that I do things like that, because you care about me, then you have to accept the same in return. For the reasons previously discussed.
[ He lifts a warning finger. ] Don't you dare argue. I don't want to keep rehashing the earlier argument, because it was miserable, Fel. And I'm frustrated and exhausted just thinking about having to do that on a regular basis. Especially since here you are trying to go straight back into it.
So do me a favor and admit that I'm right, and-or apologize to me. About some or all of it.
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When he (eventually) speaks again, it's quiet and slightly muffled, a soft vibration against pale skin.]
Forgive me. I called us equals and then refused to think of you as such. It was... [hypocritical] ...inconsiderate of me.
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Eyes closing with gratitude and contentment when he gets that apology, Gojo nods, curling his hand over Fel's and lightly winding their fingers together. ] We can work on investigating the mountains. But let's discuss that ... maybe tomorrow. For now, let's spend the next day or two looking for a house that the three of us all like.
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I sheltered in the ruins of houses on occasion, if they were defensible enough. But never more than a night. I lived in the remnants of a Golden Age observatory on my mountain. When I ceded it to the Iron Lords, they built a great temple into the peak.
[But never a house. He's not even sure what a house is supposed to be like.]
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Can't believe I'm actually willingly getting myself into a situation this cozy and domestic. [ Big dramatic eyeroll, even though Fel can't see it. ]
I'm not doing the laundry. You and Choso will have to figure that out. [ And all the other chores. ]
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[It's a little terse, but mostly good-natured. He knows Gojo is just Like That, and would be whether he was an Exo or a human or whatever Choso is exactly.]
I would suggest looking for a place which is easily defended, but I'm not sure those exist in a city like this.
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Yeah we're looking for a house, not a fortress.
Another part of the human facade thing. Acting like society is peaceful and we're all safe, even when we all know it's a lie.
But it'll be nice. Sunny. With a garden. So we can plant Choso in a little flowerpot or something.
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Perhaps I can meditate in the garden rather than the park.
[Nobody staring at him, that way.]
What would you look for? In a house.
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We actually have money for this, by the way. I got a weird windfall. A little bit creepy, actually. Did I show you the weird money that just showed up in my room?
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[Ok, sure. Kind of creepy.]
I assumed we were using what we were given from the expeditions.
[Which is presumably nowhere near enough for a house, but the thing is? Felwinter has never had to use money before in his life. Having to pay for the place you want to live in? Pretty wild, actually.]
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It doesn't make any sense.
But yeah, I'd been planning on using what we were given from the expeditions, and figured the three of us would probably manage to afford something decent by combining that. But now ... we can afford something nice, and still have plenty for necessities and luxuries beyond that.
[ The luxuries available are limited, however, and especially limited for Augmented. Therefore, the obvious solution is that they need to expand the availability of luxury items and the social situation of the Augmented. Somehow. ]
And, honestly, still even more money beyond that since we still have the three salaries. So, serious question, what kind of goals might we want to achieve with that?
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Gojo's question is a good one, and also one he doesn't have the slightest idea on how to answer. There are several goals he'd like to achieve, but he doesn't know that money will or even can help with them. He's quiet for a little while, his thumb drawing idle circles on Gojo's hand.]
What would you use it for?
[It's easier to just ask.]
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[ Gojo echoes the word with a thoughtful sound, then shakes his head. Even his god complex doesn’t find anything there to latch onto. Praise and attention is all the tribute he wants. (Though it’s true that he considers it the natural order of the universe that he be financially comfortable.) ]
From who or what?
[ Even though he’d been asking for Fel’s thoughts and priorities, he’s willing to give his own first. ]
I want better treatment for the Augmented and better conditions overall. Seems like what people need most is food—then other material goods and resources after that. But even though money gives us better access to those things, it can’t create more food and resources. I don’t have any particularly good ideas about how to improve that situation as a whole, or how to apply the money toward those interests.
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[He doesn't sound particularly proud of this. He hadn't wanted to be a Warlord, and had said as much when Aarthi had come to deliver him tribute. But he was also pragmatic, and not about to turn away something that useful when it was offered. He'd refused to take their food, at least, if only because it wasn't something he needed.]
Perhaps this is payment for something else you've done. You'd have a better idea of what that might be than I do.
[Gojo's priorities are good enough, and Felwinter is quietly relieved to hear that he also doesn't know how they might apply money to such things. So he feels less self-conscious, perhaps, when he offers his own thoughts.]
When I first came here, I thought the city a vision of our dreams brought to life. We're building a city for our people, did I ever tell you that? But the more I see of it, the more doubts I have. Attitude towards the Augmented may be mixed but we are still better provided for than some of Karteria's own citizens. Though I don't think we have enough money for all of them.
[As if simply throwing money at them would fix the underlying societal problems. Problems that Felwinter is unfortunately somewhat oblivious to.]
There are others better suited towards improving the standing of Augmented. That's not something I can do.
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You can improve the standing of the Augmented. You already are. We're earning appreciation and respect for our work exploring. We've brought back information that Patho-Gen has found valuable, and we've made progress in re-establishing the connection to Kelesis.
But payment from whom? The authorities? They should be providing better housing for the augmented, since they brought us here, so why throw this payment at just me? Why not increase the budget for the augmented as a whole? Common folk giving 'tribute' or some smaller organization? They wouldn't have this kind of budget. Some kind of mysterious wealthy benefactor? How would they get into my room, for one thing, and I haven't done anything exceptional enough for anyone in order to warrant this kind of money.
It ...
[ Gojo's not the type to believe in gods. Though it is true that he met an entity here he would consider a god, and that god was able to create things from thin air. But this doesn't at all seem like Emet-Selch's style.
(Worth asking him, though, to be sure. Gojo will just fire off a quick text, explaining to Fel as he does so.) ]
I have met one entity who can create things, so it's possible it was him, but it doesn't seem like him and this is well out of proportion with the ... I made him a flower crown and he created cakes for me. I haven't done anything for him that would merit this.
But it makes me wonder if there's something else.
Was there ... when you first woke up--no, before you first woke up, did you hear a voice that didn't seem like it actually belonged to the scientists who were there when you did wake up?
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So what he really meant, then, is that there others better suited to roles directly involved with the citizenry.
But the focus has shifted entirely to the mystery money. He listens, and has no real argument against any of it. He is briefly distracted by the mention of someone who can, apparently, create food out of thing air — what an incredibly useful ability — but then Gojo asks him a question which catches him off-guard.
He's silent, at first, trying to think back to that time. He'd woken in a blind panic with the sound of battle ringing in his ears, disorientated and disarmed. He had almost assaulted the scientist who was watching over him (almost, but not quite). Before then? It's hard to remember. It's harder to think about.]
Possibly. [He rubs his face against Gojo's shoulder. To comfort himself, perhaps? He doesn't know.] Everything was... jumbled up. With before. But I think I remember, now that you mention it. As though something or someone was in my head.
[A pause, as he considers why Gojo is asking about that now.]
You think whoever or whatever that was may be responsible?
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