[He absolutely is used to these kinds of endless questions, though this particular topic is an uncomfortable one. It had taken him months to finally admit to Gojo that he was not and had never been human, a secret that in the past he has been willing to kill to protect. Now they're back to square one. He had trusted Gojo, and Gojo's immediate acceptance of everything he was had proven that his trust was not misplaced, but...]
Exos are built to house human minds, so they must be capable of doing human things. It is that simple.
[They can tackle the truth later. That's too much vulnerability for Felwinter right now.
With the kettle set to boil and Gojo perpetually invading his personal space, Fel lifts the lid on a small bowl he had already set out on a tray. Yes, it is full of sugar.]
After living with you for months, I know better than to neglect your sweet tooth. As for the rest... Mm.
[He turns so he's leaning back against the countertop, arms folded, and he finally really looks at Gojo. He hadn't realised that he'd been avoiding it. Here he is, the same but different, all traces of his previous corruption gone. It should be a good thing, surely, that corruption is apparently reversible, but none of this feels right.]
I won't presume to tell you your reasoning. Or Choso's. You were cruel to him, due to... something he had been involved in. I'm not clear on the details. [Only that it involved killing civilians to force Gojo into a bad position.]
For my part, I didn't want to stay in the city because the people do not view machine lifeforms as human. They assume I am incapable of independent thought, and expect me to be subservient. I had a mountain, back home. I lived alone on its peak for many years. I wanted to find a mountain to claim outside of the city, but you wouldn't allow it. It was... one of many things we argued about.
[He looks away.]
The last time we argued, you accused me of walking away from you like... someone else. From your past. So I made a vow that I would not. That vow is why I invited you here rather than leaving this place behind.
[ Some things would never change, it seems. Gojo wouldn't even sniff at the revelation of Felwinter having never been human in the first place. Sure, he might be brash, cocky and have an ego like a blackhole, but Gojo was accepting of differences. He liked the rejects, the ones people deemed as outcasts or too dangerous to live. It's why he took kids like Yuta and Yuji under his wing. It's why he's not going to be put off by anything Felwinter might tell him. ]
You say it's simple, but it sounds pretty complicated. Luckily for you, I looove complicated.
[ Taking a finger and poking it at Felwinter's chest, however, he never let the contact fully connect; instead, there was a slight fluttering of energy, a push in both directions that stopped Gojo's finger and Fel's chest from completely connecting. Sorry, you might claim to know him, but he has no recollection of who you actually are, buddy... You'll have to forgive him for having a little of his Infinity up for now, even if he was just bumping shoulders with you a moment ago.
The moment the sugar cubes were exposed, Gojo made a fist and exclaimed a silently excited 'yes', dipping his forefinger and thumb into the jar, retrieving a solitary cube, popping it straight into his mouth with a pleased-as-punch sound resonating from his throat. ]
Haa- Sugar helps fuel the grey matter, and what can I say~ I've got big brains~
[ A little flexing, cheerful and harmless as he tries not to let his expression betray him while taking in all that Felwinter had to say. I was a lot. And he was sorry that he was having to tell him this all over again. That must have been hard for them.
When his new/old Exo friend shifts to turn and rest against the counter, Gojo simply stands there, slowly crunching and chewing that sugar cube in his mouth. Glasses pushed up, holding his hair back in spikes, with those famous eyes of his fixed on the swirling gold mystery of Felwinter's. ]
Well, whatever he did, it must have been pretty shitty, 'cause I'm not a mean guy for no reason. Must have crossed me or the school or something.
[ Shrugging it off like it wasn't important, oblivious to who Choso actually was... Possibly for the best.
It's when Felwinter starts explaining how people treat the machine lifeforms that his carefree expression starts to change. There's genuine compassion and empathy in his eyes. The chewing stops, he swallows and nods softly before reaching out and setting his hand on Felwinter's shoulder. Infinity dropped. ]
Shit, Fel, I'm sorry you have to go through that. And I'm glad I bullied you into hanging around. You deserve to enjoy your books and plants in peace. Pretty as it probably was, that Mountain sounds like one hell of a big place for just one guy...
[ If there's anything Gojo Satoru knows well, it's loneliness. He suffers from it in many different ways. Wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy. Ah, but that last part? Yeah, that hits him like a blackflash, right in the chest. He knows exactly who they're talking about, and if he needed any more proof that this metal man knew him well enough to be trusted, then that was it. It hurt. Made him feel weak, and Gojo hated feeling weak, shit, it even showed for a brief moment in a flicker of something in his eyes, a quick albeit silent gasp before he shook it off and put that smirk back on his lips like a bandage on a wounded place. ]
Wow. You really went and made a whole dramatic vow because of me, huh? That’s sweet. Reckless, but sweet.
[ A pause, his tone turning a shade softer. ]
I don't know what we had to argue about, and yeah, maybe I saw someone else when I looked at you then, but don’t turn yourself into a promise just to prove me wrong. If you stayed because you chose to, that’s enough. Next time, though? Try not to carry my ghosts for me. I’ve got plenty.
[There's a lot to think about, here. First and foremost being that Gojo doesn't seem to know who Choso is. At all. Choso, who had been one of the many things they had argued over, because Felwinter hated the way Gojo refused to treat him like a human. One of the many things Gojo refused to compromise on, because the trauma and the anger that went with it were still fresh for him.
Time is not linear. He knows this well. But the implications of this are... unpleasant. Is there also a twisted, feral Gojo still held somewhere in Patho-Gen's labs? Does this one remember nothing because he had been snatched from an earlier point in time?
He doesn't bring these concerns up. Not yet. He needs more time to mull them over.]
The mountain was a strategically advantageous location. It was safe. And being alone was... uncomplicated. I miss it sometimes. I'm not used to living like this.
[A gesture with one hand, meant to encompass the house in its entirety.]
But I also made a vow when I first agreed to our imprint. That I would watch your back as you were watching mine. As an equal. I remained in the city because of you, and not because you forced me to. If I wanted to leave, there's nothing you could do to stop me.
[Which may have been exactly what triggered that argument in the first place...]
You also told me that, were you ever offered a second chance with him, you would leave in a heartbeat. Rest assured that I am under no illusions.
[ Choso hadn’t yet traumatised Gojo in this timeline, but that wouldn’t have altered Gojo’s view of curses. To him, they weren’t human; they were born from negative emotions and suffering, existing solely to harm people. Even intelligent curses that mimic human thought lack true morality or empathy, and Gojo understands this well. A curse having emotions or ideals doesn’t make it human any more than a talking weapon would.
Still, Gojo’s overwhelming strength isolates him; seeing nothing as a threat, he often resorts to mockery and emotional detachment. So perhaps this place humbled him, if it allowed him to see Choso as something more than just another curse.
Felwinter's concerns about a monstrous version of Gojo being held in some facility, somewhere, are probably kept to himself right now... Considering Gojo would want to find said place and burn it to the ground. Not now, but maybe after his corruption was more dominant. ]
Hm, not used to living like this, but you stayed, so that alone tells me you must like something about it. I admit, it wouldn't have been my first choice either, but... It looks pretty cosy, relaxing.
[ Ah, so they had an imprint, did they? That explains it a little. You can see it visibly dawn on Gojo then. Felwinter meant something more to his previous incarnation here, and they'd had that connection ripped away from them, only to be replaced with a slate wiped clean of any memories.
It fucking hurts.
Gojo knows a similar pain. He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy. Reaching out then, to place a gentle hand upon Felwinter's shoulder, dropping his bravado and bluster when next he spoke. ]
Fel, I'm sorry. Acting like this is all a big joke when clearly you're hurting. I wish I knew what we'd been through together. The ups, the downs, but I don't... That doesn't mean I don't want to know. If I told you about him, then I must have trusted you without doubt. I don't talk to anyone about Suguru, so that's proof enough that you were special to me.
[ He looks mournful then, feeling the loss of something he didn't even know he'd been missing. ]
I'd like to start over. Get to know you and let you get to know me, what do you say? Don't leave me hanging, man.
[ There's a sort of nervousness in his tone then, vulnerability he never shows, not even used to feeling, as he holds out his hand for the other. ]
[It does hurt, but Felwinter has no one to blame for that but himself. The first incarnation of Gojo had called the imprint a "tactical advantage", but it had quickly become more than either of them had bargained for. And here he is, on the verge of making that mistake all over again.
Gojo offers a hand, and with it a second chance, and that hurts more, he thinks. An aching pressure in his chest that he doesn't know what to do with. And he almost takes it — the hand, the chance — but his own hand stalls in mid-air when the boiling kettle demands his attention.
His turning away isn't meant as a rejection, though it might seem like it.]
If you took everything seriously, you wouldn't be Gojo Satoru. But this is something that you should take seriously. Not for my sake, but for yours. An imprint is a commitment, and it's not something you can escape from easily once done.
[And considering how much Gojo had liked to complain about the emotional vulnerability and the actually having to care about people... perhaps it would be better for him to properly think it through.]
In any case, you shouldn't offer it so casually. Go and find somewhere to sit. I'll bring the tea.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Exos are built to house human minds, so they must be capable of doing human things. It is that simple.
[They can tackle the truth later. That's too much vulnerability for Felwinter right now.
With the kettle set to boil and Gojo perpetually invading his personal space, Fel lifts the lid on a small bowl he had already set out on a tray. Yes, it is full of sugar.]
After living with you for months, I know better than to neglect your sweet tooth. As for the rest... Mm.
[He turns so he's leaning back against the countertop, arms folded, and he finally really looks at Gojo. He hadn't realised that he'd been avoiding it. Here he is, the same but different, all traces of his previous corruption gone. It should be a good thing, surely, that corruption is apparently reversible, but none of this feels right.]
I won't presume to tell you your reasoning. Or Choso's. You were cruel to him, due to... something he had been involved in. I'm not clear on the details. [Only that it involved killing civilians to force Gojo into a bad position.]
For my part, I didn't want to stay in the city because the people do not view machine lifeforms as human. They assume I am incapable of independent thought, and expect me to be subservient. I had a mountain, back home. I lived alone on its peak for many years. I wanted to find a mountain to claim outside of the city, but you wouldn't allow it. It was... one of many things we argued about.
[He looks away.]
The last time we argued, you accused me of walking away from you like... someone else. From your past. So I made a vow that I would not. That vow is why I invited you here rather than leaving this place behind.
no subject
You say it's simple, but it sounds pretty complicated. Luckily for you, I looove complicated.
[ Taking a finger and poking it at Felwinter's chest, however, he never let the contact fully connect; instead, there was a slight fluttering of energy, a push in both directions that stopped Gojo's finger and Fel's chest from completely connecting. Sorry, you might claim to know him, but he has no recollection of who you actually are, buddy... You'll have to forgive him for having a little of his Infinity up for now, even if he was just bumping shoulders with you a moment ago.
The moment the sugar cubes were exposed, Gojo made a fist and exclaimed a silently excited 'yes', dipping his forefinger and thumb into the jar, retrieving a solitary cube, popping it straight into his mouth with a pleased-as-punch sound resonating from his throat. ]
Haa- Sugar helps fuel the grey matter, and what can I say~ I've got big brains~
[ A little flexing, cheerful and harmless as he tries not to let his expression betray him while taking in all that Felwinter had to say. I was a lot. And he was sorry that he was having to tell him this all over again. That must have been hard for them.
When his new/old Exo friend shifts to turn and rest against the counter, Gojo simply stands there, slowly crunching and chewing that sugar cube in his mouth. Glasses pushed up, holding his hair back in spikes, with those famous eyes of his fixed on the swirling gold mystery of Felwinter's. ]
Well, whatever he did, it must have been pretty shitty, 'cause I'm not a mean guy for no reason. Must have crossed me or the school or something.
[ Shrugging it off like it wasn't important, oblivious to who Choso actually was... Possibly for the best.
It's when Felwinter starts explaining how people treat the machine lifeforms that his carefree expression starts to change. There's genuine compassion and empathy in his eyes. The chewing stops, he swallows and nods softly before reaching out and setting his hand on Felwinter's shoulder. Infinity dropped. ]
Shit, Fel, I'm sorry you have to go through that. And I'm glad I bullied you into hanging around. You deserve to enjoy your books and plants in peace. Pretty as it probably was, that Mountain sounds like one hell of a big place for just one guy...
[ If there's anything Gojo Satoru knows well, it's loneliness. He suffers from it in many different ways. Wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy. Ah, but that last part? Yeah, that hits him like a blackflash, right in the chest. He knows exactly who they're talking about, and if he needed any more proof that this metal man knew him well enough to be trusted, then that was it. It hurt. Made him feel weak, and Gojo hated feeling weak, shit, it even showed for a brief moment in a flicker of something in his eyes, a quick albeit silent gasp before he shook it off and put that smirk back on his lips like a bandage on a wounded place. ]
Wow. You really went and made a whole dramatic vow because of me, huh? That’s sweet. Reckless, but sweet.
[ A pause, his tone turning a shade softer. ]
I don't know what we had to argue about, and yeah, maybe I saw someone else when I looked at you then, but don’t turn yourself into a promise just to prove me wrong. If you stayed because you chose to, that’s enough. Next time, though? Try not to carry my ghosts for me. I’ve got plenty.
[ He smiled lightly, shaking his head. ]
no subject
Time is not linear. He knows this well. But the implications of this are... unpleasant. Is there also a twisted, feral Gojo still held somewhere in Patho-Gen's labs? Does this one remember nothing because he had been snatched from an earlier point in time?
He doesn't bring these concerns up. Not yet. He needs more time to mull them over.]
The mountain was a strategically advantageous location. It was safe. And being alone was... uncomplicated. I miss it sometimes. I'm not used to living like this.
[A gesture with one hand, meant to encompass the house in its entirety.]
But I also made a vow when I first agreed to our imprint. That I would watch your back as you were watching mine. As an equal. I remained in the city because of you, and not because you forced me to. If I wanted to leave, there's nothing you could do to stop me.
[Which may have been exactly what triggered that argument in the first place...]
You also told me that, were you ever offered a second chance with him, you would leave in a heartbeat. Rest assured that I am under no illusions.
no subject
Still, Gojo’s overwhelming strength isolates him; seeing nothing as a threat, he often resorts to mockery and emotional detachment. So perhaps this place humbled him, if it allowed him to see Choso as something more than just another curse.
Felwinter's concerns about a monstrous version of Gojo being held in some facility, somewhere, are probably kept to himself right now... Considering Gojo would want to find said place and burn it to the ground. Not now, but maybe after his corruption was more dominant. ]
Hm, not used to living like this, but you stayed, so that alone tells me you must like something about it. I admit, it wouldn't have been my first choice either, but... It looks pretty cosy, relaxing.
[ Ah, so they had an imprint, did they? That explains it a little. You can see it visibly dawn on Gojo then. Felwinter meant something more to his previous incarnation here, and they'd had that connection ripped away from them, only to be replaced with a slate wiped clean of any memories.
It fucking hurts.
Gojo knows a similar pain. He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy. Reaching out then, to place a gentle hand upon Felwinter's shoulder, dropping his bravado and bluster when next he spoke. ]
Fel, I'm sorry. Acting like this is all a big joke when clearly you're hurting. I wish I knew what we'd been through together. The ups, the downs, but I don't... That doesn't mean I don't want to know. If I told you about him, then I must have trusted you without doubt. I don't talk to anyone about Suguru, so that's proof enough that you were special to me.
[ He looks mournful then, feeling the loss of something he didn't even know he'd been missing. ]
I'd like to start over. Get to know you and let you get to know me, what do you say? Don't leave me hanging, man.
[ There's a sort of nervousness in his tone then, vulnerability he never shows, not even used to feeling, as he holds out his hand for the other. ]
no subject
Gojo offers a hand, and with it a second chance, and that hurts more, he thinks. An aching pressure in his chest that he doesn't know what to do with. And he almost takes it — the hand, the chance — but his own hand stalls in mid-air when the boiling kettle demands his attention.
His turning away isn't meant as a rejection, though it might seem like it.]
If you took everything seriously, you wouldn't be Gojo Satoru. But this is something that you should take seriously. Not for my sake, but for yours. An imprint is a commitment, and it's not something you can escape from easily once done.
[And considering how much Gojo had liked to complain about the emotional vulnerability and the actually having to care about people... perhaps it would be better for him to properly think it through.]
In any case, you shouldn't offer it so casually. Go and find somewhere to sit. I'll bring the tea.